My take on marriage
That's more that just the title of a catchy pop tune.
I think there's something to be said for waking up before your alarm clock goes off and sitting by your window and watching the first rays hit the oranges, browns and greys of the homes around you and the greens of the shrubs..and listening to the getting-ready sounds of the world.
I'm one of those lucky people who don't have to jostle with the peak-hour crowd and traffic to get to work everyday, and I thank God for it coz it means I can get up at 9am and still be ok...this also means if I have the discipline to wake up way before I'm supposed to be at work - like I'm doing now - I get to enjoy the morning. It took me 10 years to realise that I'm actually a morning person and I like it. Getting up when the sun is still new makes me feel more virtuous than I have the right to feel, everything is fresh, it's a clean slate.
Bad news tend to come at night - like yesterday - when I was told that a not-terribly-close friend has called off her wedding, which was skedded to happen on Saturday. No, I wasn't invited but it came as a shock nonetheless coz I hear of her romantic and not-so-romantic saga from a friend and her "what I fear for her has really happened" started me thinking about marriages again.
The most seemingly-inane of questions...why do people get married? I still don't know, and I still don't know if I ever will. I tell people it's something I don't foresee happening to me and it's something I don't think about anymore coz I just don't have any answers. I tell people my folks had a horrible 20something-year marriage, during which they fought intermittently and made up in between, and that made me really wary about spending so much time with one person. That, of course, is warped reasoning and perhaps not entirely convincing but real to me, and that's the truth. I've seen what a emotionally-draining relationship can do to a person's mind and body, and that's not something I wanna go through.
So I Pavlov-train myself not to get too close to someone and now that behaviour has etched into my neural circuits, I'm sure - hey, I'm a psychology major, dammit. It's gonna take something or someone pretty damn, what's a good word, extraordinary before I can unlearn this.
Of course, that hasn't stopped me from meeting people and going out with people coz I'm just too damn curious and people interest me, especially those who also find me interesting enough to spend time with. My lovely friends - many of whom are married - say it's just that I haven't met the right person; when I do, I'll know...I guess that's true. I guess for every bad relationship, there's half a good one - that's the statistics, baby - and when you see that half a good one, it gives you the rare hope that maybe you might meet someone who feels the same way as you do and who wants a shot at being half of the half a good relationship.
And there's something to be said for that.
I think there's something to be said for waking up before your alarm clock goes off and sitting by your window and watching the first rays hit the oranges, browns and greys of the homes around you and the greens of the shrubs..and listening to the getting-ready sounds of the world.
I'm one of those lucky people who don't have to jostle with the peak-hour crowd and traffic to get to work everyday, and I thank God for it coz it means I can get up at 9am and still be ok...this also means if I have the discipline to wake up way before I'm supposed to be at work - like I'm doing now - I get to enjoy the morning. It took me 10 years to realise that I'm actually a morning person and I like it. Getting up when the sun is still new makes me feel more virtuous than I have the right to feel, everything is fresh, it's a clean slate.
Bad news tend to come at night - like yesterday - when I was told that a not-terribly-close friend has called off her wedding, which was skedded to happen on Saturday. No, I wasn't invited but it came as a shock nonetheless coz I hear of her romantic and not-so-romantic saga from a friend and her "what I fear for her has really happened" started me thinking about marriages again.
The most seemingly-inane of questions...why do people get married? I still don't know, and I still don't know if I ever will. I tell people it's something I don't foresee happening to me and it's something I don't think about anymore coz I just don't have any answers. I tell people my folks had a horrible 20something-year marriage, during which they fought intermittently and made up in between, and that made me really wary about spending so much time with one person. That, of course, is warped reasoning and perhaps not entirely convincing but real to me, and that's the truth. I've seen what a emotionally-draining relationship can do to a person's mind and body, and that's not something I wanna go through.
So I Pavlov-train myself not to get too close to someone and now that behaviour has etched into my neural circuits, I'm sure - hey, I'm a psychology major, dammit. It's gonna take something or someone pretty damn, what's a good word, extraordinary before I can unlearn this.
Of course, that hasn't stopped me from meeting people and going out with people coz I'm just too damn curious and people interest me, especially those who also find me interesting enough to spend time with. My lovely friends - many of whom are married - say it's just that I haven't met the right person; when I do, I'll know...I guess that's true. I guess for every bad relationship, there's half a good one - that's the statistics, baby - and when you see that half a good one, it gives you the rare hope that maybe you might meet someone who feels the same way as you do and who wants a shot at being half of the half a good relationship.
And there's something to be said for that.
posted by Jean.Chua at 11:17 PM
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