Toxic life-forms
I guess it's easy for me to say - guys, let's get on with it already - when I'm feeling fine and right as rain now. Speaking of which, it rained and rained over the weekend and it's still pouring. I've been assigned to see the Senior Minister and ex-US President Bill Clinton tonight before their golf game, which drew quite a few incredulous looks from my colleagues but I'd rather do this than write about stupid corporate scandals which seem to be happening every other day. urgh.
If it doesn't stop pissing down soon, do you reckon our state representative and the former leader of the free world would go bowling instead?
So anyway, I did manage to wake up and meet WK for a run in the MacRitchie area this morning. For a moment, I thought maybe it wasn't the brightest idea coz it was getting really hot and the traffic was rather heavy, but I felt good after.
Unfortunately, the "good feeling" lasted only till I got a msg I didn't wanna get...which brings me back to the question: why is it so easy for some people to move on and so hard for others?
I guess the question is rather pointless coz everyone's wired differently. I was rather angry at a friend whom I thought was in denial about his pain. I was also miffed in general about people telling me to fawgedabaddit and get on with it. I mean, can't I even get ONE WEEK to grief? And it had been only 3 days at that point!!!!
Anyway, there's also this person - no names - who feels he has the right to lay his mood swings on me. He talks to me when he feels like it, shuts me off when he doesn't and asks me weird questions when he's back to normal. What normal is in this case, I have yet to figure out. And he doesn't seem to want me to be ok! I say I'm fine, perfect, ok, very well, etc. and he goes "It's no good telling me that. You gotta be honest with yourself" in a smug tone over the phone - How he manages a trick like that, I don't know - after which, I won't feel fine, perfect, ok, very well coz I feel like throttling him until he goes green in the face and throwing him off the 47th floor of a building.
And the msg I received got me thinking that maybe I do move on quickly....too quickly for some to be comfortable, I guess...I mean, I was crying one night over some perceived brokenheartedness (no drowning in alcohol, thank God, no!!!) and less than a week later, I'm ok. I still think about it in my occasional moments of weakness but on the whole, I'm much better now than I thought I would be!...which, sez one friend, is scary for and to people who don't recover as quickly.
But I thank God for happy, shiny, positive people around me - and there are a few - who don't need to use their emotional ups-and-downs as a gauge of how their lives are going. They set their eyes on what they want, they are incredibly focussed and incredibly resilient.
That's what I want to be.
And on an extremely wonderful and cheerful note, an ex-colleague just got engaged. GREAT NEWS.
Where's the champers?
So at the end of the day, here's a note to people who have made my life less-than-ordinary in the past month or so:
If it doesn't stop pissing down soon, do you reckon our state representative and the former leader of the free world would go bowling instead?
So anyway, I did manage to wake up and meet WK for a run in the MacRitchie area this morning. For a moment, I thought maybe it wasn't the brightest idea coz it was getting really hot and the traffic was rather heavy, but I felt good after.
Unfortunately, the "good feeling" lasted only till I got a msg I didn't wanna get...which brings me back to the question: why is it so easy for some people to move on and so hard for others?
I guess the question is rather pointless coz everyone's wired differently. I was rather angry at a friend whom I thought was in denial about his pain. I was also miffed in general about people telling me to fawgedabaddit and get on with it. I mean, can't I even get ONE WEEK to grief? And it had been only 3 days at that point!!!!
BIG RESIGNED FRUSTRATED SIGH
Anyway, there's also this person - no names - who feels he has the right to lay his mood swings on me. He talks to me when he feels like it, shuts me off when he doesn't and asks me weird questions when he's back to normal. What normal is in this case, I have yet to figure out. And he doesn't seem to want me to be ok! I say I'm fine, perfect, ok, very well, etc. and he goes "It's no good telling me that. You gotta be honest with yourself" in a smug tone over the phone - How he manages a trick like that, I don't know - after which, I won't feel fine, perfect, ok, very well coz I feel like throttling him until he goes green in the face and throwing him off the 47th floor of a building.
And the msg I received got me thinking that maybe I do move on quickly....too quickly for some to be comfortable, I guess...I mean, I was crying one night over some perceived brokenheartedness (no drowning in alcohol, thank God, no!!!) and less than a week later, I'm ok. I still think about it in my occasional moments of weakness but on the whole, I'm much better now than I thought I would be!...which, sez one friend, is scary for and to people who don't recover as quickly.
But I thank God for happy, shiny, positive people around me - and there are a few - who don't need to use their emotional ups-and-downs as a gauge of how their lives are going. They set their eyes on what they want, they are incredibly focussed and incredibly resilient.
That's what I want to be.
And on an extremely wonderful and cheerful note, an ex-colleague just got engaged. GREAT NEWS.
Where's the champers?
So at the end of the day, here's a note to people who have made my life less-than-ordinary in the past month or so:
GET OUT OF MY FACE
posted by Jean.Chua at 8:17 AM
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