When friends outgrow each other

Over the course of the past year and a half, I have been letting a particular friendship die a natural death.

At the beginning, it was a little painful coz we've been friends since we were 16.

Now, I'm finding it difficult to put up with her incessant shopping - which is what we end up doing EVERY TIME we meet...is this what most Singaporeans do in their free time? - fantasising about her imaginative angmo boyfriend (Yes, she said she wants to marry a rich angmo guy or she won't marry) and her ranch in Australia.

I am all for fantasies and getting what you want - hell, I've had a sweet German boyfriend and a gruff Scottish one! before I turned 26! - but when you start thumbing your nose at guys just coz they are Chinese or Asian and say they are no good (when you've never had any dating experience before), that's when I want to call you seriously deluded and shout that you're a bloody bimbo to your face.

But that's MY fantasy.

So yeah, there was no dramatic single episode that tore us apart, so to speak; we haven't been fighting.

For me, it's the realisation that there will be quite a few fundamental issues upon which we do not agree, that she will never understand why I do what I do - why do I carry around a daggy old Nike tote when I can afford cute little purses! - and that I will find that her attitude both parochial and condescending.

I don't need my friends to agree with me all the bloody time, but I do need them to know that I will never be happy doing certain things that certain people must do and that I'd rather do something that makes me truly happy than another which makes me look good.

If you want your condo or big house, fine.
If you want an angmo husband and interracial kids, fine.

Just don't tell me that what I want and what I love ain't good enough.

So bye bye, birdie.