Have some faith, dammit

Lordy...

Ok, as the day creeps (or rather, speeds) closer - 5 more days! - more people have been asking me - "So how, you nervous/prepared/scared/excited (or some other emotion associated with starting something new)?

Many are sending well wishes, notes that say "I'm inviting myself to your place when I visit!"

Others ask "So how, the boyfriend?", with perhaps a perverse desire to hear me go "Don't know. See how." or "We've decided to call it quits."

In many ways, the answer is genuinely "Don't know. See how." coz we don't know what's going to happen. I've also stopped answering such questions and would only smile coz most people, for some reason, would prefer to see me stressed out and upset and sad that my boyfriend and I are going to be living in different countries for a while.

It's mindboggling.

Why is it that people feed into negative energy and repeat cynical statements that may not truly reflect what they feel, thinking it makes them appear sensible? I have had to fight the urge to go "Yeah, it may not work out, I don't know." when talking to naysayers but as the day approaches, I find myself going "Hey, will you stop being so negative?" more and more often. And I truly believe it.

No, I am not saying it's going to be easy. I'm not saying there won't be difficulties or challenges or shitty, emotional episodes that we have to deal with, but I'm taking the risk because there is no one else (real or fictional) I can imagine wanting to be with.

I'm choosing to do what's hard - to have some faith and hope and be happy that I've found the rarest thing in the world - than to cop out and give up even before trying. Too many people do that with almost everything in their lives.

So friends, I hope you'll be happy for me that I'm doing this.

And most importantly, be there for me when I whine and cry!